the temptation is strong to make some grand gesture. tear down profiles, throw away dresses and make-up, cut my hair. i resist party because i would probably regret it, and partly because i've never been very impressed when others have done similar. too often i've sighed, shook my head, and rolled my eyes, dismissing someone's announcement that they are leaving 'the scene' as drama and attention seeking. but seeking attention isn't always a bad thing. there's nothing wrong with seeking the attention, support, and comfort of our friends when we need it. nothing wrong with asking our friends to reassure us that yes, they really would miss us if we were not around.

it's easy to dismiss someone else's pain when you're not feeling it. shared pain, if nothing else, teaches sympathy.

nevertheless, if and when i decide to go, i don't think i'll be making any grand gestures. i think i'd rather slip away quietly. if anyone's going to notice, let them notice because i'm not there, not because i shouted about it.