it's a bit difficult to think of something to write about when the only thing on my mind is how desperately i want an orgasm.
you don't really need to listen to me going on about that. if that's your thing, go to any chat room or social networking site. you'll find an endless supply of hngs (horny net geeks) who will be only too happy to tell you how horny they are.
it's been eleven days now, which is a personal record. to the best of my memory, the longest i've ever gone between orgasms before, since puberty, was ten days.
i don't usually remember my dreams, but i had a vivid erotic dream last night, which involved being grabbed by the hair, bent over a table, and fucked up the bum with a strap-on.
what's really scary is that, after this coming weekend, i won't see J again for at least two, maybe three weeks.
eep!
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Monday, 27 September 2010
it was, among other things, a weekend without an orgasm. it's been eight days now. not really a long time, but rather a lot has happened within that time. i've been flogged. i've been stripped and paraded around semi-naked. i've been touched in intimate and sensitive places. i've seen others enjoy orgasms and been the giver of orgasms.
under those circumstances eight days can seem like an eternity.
and yet i'm not really tempted. any attraction that the idea of fleeting solitary release might have is outweighed by the knowledge of how disappointed i would be afterwards.
i will wait.
it's going to be a long week.
under those circumstances eight days can seem like an eternity.
and yet i'm not really tempted. any attraction that the idea of fleeting solitary release might have is outweighed by the knowledge of how disappointed i would be afterwards.
i will wait.
it's going to be a long week.
Sunday, 19 September 2010
J and six other friends from northern ireland arrived down for nimhneach yesterday. they rented an apartment for the night. i met them there, got changed, and we walked to the club together. the apartment was near the north end of o'connell street and the academy (the venue for nimhneach) is near the south end of o'connell street, so we walked pretty much the whole length of o'connell street. this was a first for me. usually we get a taxi to the academy and the furthest i walk outside is across the street from the taxi into the club.
i had very mixed feelings about the walk. it was a liberating feeling to be out there in a dress, but scary too. i wanted to get to the club quickly. but some of the others needed cash, so we stopped at an a.t.m. of course there had to be some drunk guy at the head of the queue, who was apparently determined to break the world record for taking the longest time to take money out of an a.t.m! luckily for me, our little troupe included four lovely ladies in corsets and fishnets. everyone was far too busy ogling them to pay any attention to me!
at the club J put a neck-to-wrist restraint on me. i'd told her this was one of my fantasies. J, ever thoughtful, declined to restrain my hands behind my back, in case i might hurt myself if i fell. so she fastened the cuffs in front of me instead. we had a couple of drinks, chatted with some friends, and then J led me to the frame in the back room for some spanking and flogging.
i surprised myself by slipping into sub-space quite easily. after the experience last week, when i went deeper than i ever had before, it's almost as though subspace is a place and i've learned the way, and know how to get back there now. J led me to a seat afterwards and cuddled me until i was ready to come back. friends approached me afterwards checking that i was ok, commenting that i'd been on the frame for a long time and taken quite a beating. i was quite surprised, it didn't feel to me like a long time or an unusually intense session.
it was nice to have friends looking out for me, but not really necessary when i'm with J. she knows me well, knows what i can take and how to read my signals. i'm safe in her care.
when i was ready to come back down to earth, we socialised some more, and danced a bit. dancing in a neck to wrist restraint was another new experience! it was a bit strange at first, but i managed! my feet began to hurt and i had to take my heels off and dance barefoot. this made me pretty much one of the smallest people in the room, the girls in their heels were towering over me! J got flogged too, and i got to cuddle her this time.
when the club closed, we walked back to the apartment, stopping off for burgers and chips on the way. i got to give A a foot rub. it's always nice to make a girl go 'ooh', even if it's only by rubbing her feet! and then J and i retired to one of the bedrooms, and what happened there i will leave to your imaginations - even a kinky exhibitionist has to keep a few little secrets after all!
i had very mixed feelings about the walk. it was a liberating feeling to be out there in a dress, but scary too. i wanted to get to the club quickly. but some of the others needed cash, so we stopped at an a.t.m. of course there had to be some drunk guy at the head of the queue, who was apparently determined to break the world record for taking the longest time to take money out of an a.t.m! luckily for me, our little troupe included four lovely ladies in corsets and fishnets. everyone was far too busy ogling them to pay any attention to me!
at the club J put a neck-to-wrist restraint on me. i'd told her this was one of my fantasies. J, ever thoughtful, declined to restrain my hands behind my back, in case i might hurt myself if i fell. so she fastened the cuffs in front of me instead. we had a couple of drinks, chatted with some friends, and then J led me to the frame in the back room for some spanking and flogging.
i surprised myself by slipping into sub-space quite easily. after the experience last week, when i went deeper than i ever had before, it's almost as though subspace is a place and i've learned the way, and know how to get back there now. J led me to a seat afterwards and cuddled me until i was ready to come back. friends approached me afterwards checking that i was ok, commenting that i'd been on the frame for a long time and taken quite a beating. i was quite surprised, it didn't feel to me like a long time or an unusually intense session.
it was nice to have friends looking out for me, but not really necessary when i'm with J. she knows me well, knows what i can take and how to read my signals. i'm safe in her care.
when i was ready to come back down to earth, we socialised some more, and danced a bit. dancing in a neck to wrist restraint was another new experience! it was a bit strange at first, but i managed! my feet began to hurt and i had to take my heels off and dance barefoot. this made me pretty much one of the smallest people in the room, the girls in their heels were towering over me! J got flogged too, and i got to cuddle her this time.
when the club closed, we walked back to the apartment, stopping off for burgers and chips on the way. i got to give A a foot rub. it's always nice to make a girl go 'ooh', even if it's only by rubbing her feet! and then J and i retired to one of the bedrooms, and what happened there i will leave to your imaginations - even a kinky exhibitionist has to keep a few little secrets after all!
Friday, 17 September 2010
the other thing that happened last night was that we watched tranny porn.
i probably should be offended by this stuff. it certainly shows transgendered people from a very stereotyped one-dimensional viewpoint. submissive sex objects with the sole purpose of satisfying the sexual urges of men. and some people are influenced by this stuff. some people have their ideas of what transgendered people are like shaped by this stuff.
um ... but .... wait a minute ... don't i sometimes fantasize about being exactly what these movies portray? wouldn't it therefore be somewhat hypocritical to be offended by it?
it generally doesn't bother me watching this stuff with other girls. the one time i really felt uncomfortable about it was when someone put it on at a party where most of the people present were cisgendered. in that context, it felt like a freak show.
of course what's really offensive about tranny porn is that it's so predictably, boringly repetitive!
i probably should be offended by this stuff. it certainly shows transgendered people from a very stereotyped one-dimensional viewpoint. submissive sex objects with the sole purpose of satisfying the sexual urges of men. and some people are influenced by this stuff. some people have their ideas of what transgendered people are like shaped by this stuff.
um ... but .... wait a minute ... don't i sometimes fantasize about being exactly what these movies portray? wouldn't it therefore be somewhat hypocritical to be offended by it?
it generally doesn't bother me watching this stuff with other girls. the one time i really felt uncomfortable about it was when someone put it on at a party where most of the people present were cisgendered. in that context, it felt like a freak show.
of course what's really offensive about tranny porn is that it's so predictably, boringly repetitive!
i went for a drive and a walk last night. i learned a lesson from a previous drive from belfast to dublin, and took my heels off while driving this time, and drove in my stockinged feet. it's not that i can't drive in heels, i can. the problem is the carpet scratches the heck out of your heels.
my favourite ankle boots have never been the same since that drive from belfast to dublin. it was fun. driving from belfast to dublin in five inch heels is something everyone should experience once. but once you've done it that first time, spare your heels and drive barefoot or bring flats!
it was kinda tough to remain ladylike while taking heels off and later putting them back on in the confined space of a driving seat, though. there were legs everywhere!
we parked the car and walked for a while. that was fun too, but the drive was the most enjoyable part of the experience for me. it was scary at first being out there driving around in a little black dress. and yes, the fear, the adrenaline rush, is part of the buzz. but after i'd been driving around for a while that faded, i relaxed, and it all felt very natural and normal, as though i drove around in a little black dress every day. and that was a buzz too.
my favourite ankle boots have never been the same since that drive from belfast to dublin. it was fun. driving from belfast to dublin in five inch heels is something everyone should experience once. but once you've done it that first time, spare your heels and drive barefoot or bring flats!
it was kinda tough to remain ladylike while taking heels off and later putting them back on in the confined space of a driving seat, though. there were legs everywhere!
we parked the car and walked for a while. that was fun too, but the drive was the most enjoyable part of the experience for me. it was scary at first being out there driving around in a little black dress. and yes, the fear, the adrenaline rush, is part of the buzz. but after i'd been driving around for a while that faded, i relaxed, and it all felt very natural and normal, as though i drove around in a little black dress every day. and that was a buzz too.
i experienced being lusted after last night.
i may have been lusted after before. it would be nice to think so. but i've never been as aware of being lusted after, or felt it as intensely, as i did last night.
i have a whole new appreciation of the phrase 'melting in his/her arms'. i felt overwhelmed, felt my will slipping away, the desire to surrender becoming irresistible.
the desire remained unconsummated. my promise to J remains unbroken. i don't regret it. orgasms, wonderful as they are, are fleeting things. do you remember your last one? the one before that? how about the one before that? i don't.
but i will remember how i felt last night, with strong arms around me and hot breath panting hungrily in my ear, probably for the rest of my life.
i may have been lusted after before. it would be nice to think so. but i've never been as aware of being lusted after, or felt it as intensely, as i did last night.
i have a whole new appreciation of the phrase 'melting in his/her arms'. i felt overwhelmed, felt my will slipping away, the desire to surrender becoming irresistible.
the desire remained unconsummated. my promise to J remains unbroken. i don't regret it. orgasms, wonderful as they are, are fleeting things. do you remember your last one? the one before that? how about the one before that? i don't.
but i will remember how i felt last night, with strong arms around me and hot breath panting hungrily in my ear, probably for the rest of my life.
Thursday, 16 September 2010
until last night, the chastity thing wasn't a problem. i was tired, sore, and generally unenthusiastic about life, the universe, and everything. it was, for a while, easy not to think about sex.
of course that didn't last.
i'm not sure what changed. i'm still tired, if not quite as sore as i was. still feeling a bit low after the highs of last weekend, but consoling myself by looking forward to next weekend.
whatever the reason, suddenly it's no longer easy to be good. last night was difficult. this morning was worse.
i hope J is feeling generous this weekend!
of course that didn't last.
i'm not sure what changed. i'm still tired, if not quite as sore as i was. still feeling a bit low after the highs of last weekend, but consoling myself by looking forward to next weekend.
whatever the reason, suddenly it's no longer easy to be good. last night was difficult. this morning was worse.
i hope J is feeling generous this weekend!
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
the drop is hard, this time. there's the physical reaction. the withdrawal from the endorphin high. but more than that, i spent the weekend surrounded by people with whom i could be myself. people before whom i could dance in nothing but a fishnet kaftan. now it's back to putting on an act, pretending to be someone who is not me.
i spoke briefly with G when she got home from work last night, and she used the phrase 'back to reality'. but in a sense what happened at the weekend was reality, it's the workday me that is a fantasy. someone else's fantasy.
it's not all negative. if i dig deep enough, i can still find that inner peace.
this will pass.
i spoke briefly with G when she got home from work last night, and she used the phrase 'back to reality'. but in a sense what happened at the weekend was reality, it's the workday me that is a fantasy. someone else's fantasy.
it's not all negative. if i dig deep enough, i can still find that inner peace.
this will pass.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
pretty much ever since we met, J has been threatening me with a chastity device. when she told me she was considering putting one on me last weekend, and leaving it on me until next weekend, i figured it was time to stop dithering and tell her just how i felt about the whole thing.
i really don't want to wear a device, and not for what you may think is the obvious reason. it's not the chastity that bothers me, it's the device. they're ugly. they make an unsightly bulge under a dress. and they're just so ... male. how's a girl s'posed to feel feminine with something like that between her legs? it would be different if i could wear something as pretty as this ...
... but no, the device in question looks more like this ...
... yuck!
but the surrender, the giving up of control over one's own body, the sense of being owned, that is something that i crave.
and so we agreed. J will not make me wear a device, but my orgasms now belong to her. i will experience them when she says so, and only when she says so. i will not cheat, and i will not lie. i will resist temptation, and should i fail i will not attempt to deny the failure, i will confess it and accept punishment.
already i feel more alive, sensations are more intense, the merest touch of J's hand anywhere on my body makes me quiver.
i really don't want to wear a device, and not for what you may think is the obvious reason. it's not the chastity that bothers me, it's the device. they're ugly. they make an unsightly bulge under a dress. and they're just so ... male. how's a girl s'posed to feel feminine with something like that between her legs? it would be different if i could wear something as pretty as this ...
... but no, the device in question looks more like this ...
... yuck!
but the surrender, the giving up of control over one's own body, the sense of being owned, that is something that i crave.
and so we agreed. J will not make me wear a device, but my orgasms now belong to her. i will experience them when she says so, and only when she says so. i will not cheat, and i will not lie. i will resist temptation, and should i fail i will not attempt to deny the failure, i will confess it and accept punishment.
already i feel more alive, sensations are more intense, the merest touch of J's hand anywhere on my body makes me quiver.
urgh! i'm tired, i'm sore, i'm coming down hard from the highs of the weekend, and i miss J!
luckily, i have another special weekend to look forward to. it's a nimhneach weekend, and J and other friends from northern ireland are coming down.
there's something else that i very much hope might happen at the weekend, but more about that later!
luckily, i have another special weekend to look forward to. it's a nimhneach weekend, and J and other friends from northern ireland are coming down.
there's something else that i very much hope might happen at the weekend, but more about that later!
Monday, 13 September 2010
the weekend started with J arriving from belfast. meeting J is always a great start to any weekend, even when she arrives while i'm in the shower! in hindsight, the fact that i had to answer the door dripping wet in my bathrobe could perhaps be viewed as an omen of what was to come!
no sooner had we arrived at our destination for the weekend than i made my first big mistake. i introduced J to P. why was this a mistake? because they are both full of wicked ideas! no sooner had i introduced them than P was showing J his wooden shoe horn. no ordinary shoe horn, this one has a handle nearly a meter long and makes a ferocious spanking implement! it was quickly decided that a demonstration was called for. i was ordered to strip naked and bend over a table while P applied the shoe horn to my poor bare bum!
when the spanking was over, i reached for my clothes, only to be told that i would not be needing them for the rest of the weekend! i asked for permission to wear my fishnet kaftan, and J allowed me to wear it, and shoes when we went outside, but nothing else! the kaftan is barely crotch-length, and entirely see-through, so i was effectively kept naked for the weekend!
much of what followed is a bit hazy! i can't keep track of what happened when! there was more spanking, and flogging, and pinching, and nipping with J's strong sharp teeth! i was ordered to stand still and raise my hands over my head while P applied a cane to my crotch! i was flogged by J, and J and i were flogged together by C! J and i had our ankles cuffed together and were bent over a table and flogged together by P and D.
it was during that particular flogging that i had the deepest, most intense experience of sub-space so far. my poor bum was already quite tender at that stage. the pain was quite intense. i was close to my limit, i didn't think i was going to be able to take any more. and then something happened. i stretched out across the table and relaxed, and the pain went away. i was in a place where nothing could hurt me.
when it ended i could hear J and D asking me if i was ok. i could feel their hands on me, encouraging me to stand. i murmured some kind of reply. i wanted to reassure them, to let them know i was ok, so that they wouldn't worry, but didn't really want to talk or move, didn't want to break the spell. they led me to a mattress and let me lay down and J cuddled me until i was ready to return to the world again.
it wasn't all spanking and flogging, of course. we were fortunate enough to be in a secluded spot where we could go outside without encountering any neighbours or passers-by. so there were naked walks in the woods, and naked tree-climbing, and even some naked sun-bathing, although in typical irish fashion this was cut short by a shower of rain!
another highlight of the weekend was dancing to reggae music with C! dancing while wearing nothing but a fishnet kaftan was a new experience, i highly recommend it, especially with a dance partner as confident and graceful as C!
and then it was back home on sunday, where J and i got to chill out and reminisce over a nice bottle of wine, a perfect end to a perfect weekend!
no sooner had we arrived at our destination for the weekend than i made my first big mistake. i introduced J to P. why was this a mistake? because they are both full of wicked ideas! no sooner had i introduced them than P was showing J his wooden shoe horn. no ordinary shoe horn, this one has a handle nearly a meter long and makes a ferocious spanking implement! it was quickly decided that a demonstration was called for. i was ordered to strip naked and bend over a table while P applied the shoe horn to my poor bare bum!
when the spanking was over, i reached for my clothes, only to be told that i would not be needing them for the rest of the weekend! i asked for permission to wear my fishnet kaftan, and J allowed me to wear it, and shoes when we went outside, but nothing else! the kaftan is barely crotch-length, and entirely see-through, so i was effectively kept naked for the weekend!
much of what followed is a bit hazy! i can't keep track of what happened when! there was more spanking, and flogging, and pinching, and nipping with J's strong sharp teeth! i was ordered to stand still and raise my hands over my head while P applied a cane to my crotch! i was flogged by J, and J and i were flogged together by C! J and i had our ankles cuffed together and were bent over a table and flogged together by P and D.
it was during that particular flogging that i had the deepest, most intense experience of sub-space so far. my poor bum was already quite tender at that stage. the pain was quite intense. i was close to my limit, i didn't think i was going to be able to take any more. and then something happened. i stretched out across the table and relaxed, and the pain went away. i was in a place where nothing could hurt me.
when it ended i could hear J and D asking me if i was ok. i could feel their hands on me, encouraging me to stand. i murmured some kind of reply. i wanted to reassure them, to let them know i was ok, so that they wouldn't worry, but didn't really want to talk or move, didn't want to break the spell. they led me to a mattress and let me lay down and J cuddled me until i was ready to return to the world again.
it wasn't all spanking and flogging, of course. we were fortunate enough to be in a secluded spot where we could go outside without encountering any neighbours or passers-by. so there were naked walks in the woods, and naked tree-climbing, and even some naked sun-bathing, although in typical irish fashion this was cut short by a shower of rain!
another highlight of the weekend was dancing to reggae music with C! dancing while wearing nothing but a fishnet kaftan was a new experience, i highly recommend it, especially with a dance partner as confident and graceful as C!
and then it was back home on sunday, where J and i got to chill out and reminisce over a nice bottle of wine, a perfect end to a perfect weekend!
Friday, 10 September 2010
Thursday, 9 September 2010
dinner and wine last night with my housemate G and her boyfriend S. good food, good wine, good conversation, what more could a girl ask for on a wednesday night? G cooks a mean lasagne! i was called upon to make a toast, i proposed a toast to next weekend, but was reminded that last weekend was also rather special, so we agreed to toast weekends in general. although if last night was anything to go by, week-middles can be pretty cool too!
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
it's wednesday. mid-week. it must be some kind of psychological trigger. it's such a cliché. mid-week drop. but sure enough, right on cue, the drop has hit. the high is gone. the euphoria has faded. the endorphins are no longer coursing through the blood. elvis has left the building.
luckily, i have some rather exciting plans for the weekend to look forward to!
luckily, i have some rather exciting plans for the weekend to look forward to!
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
had kind of a hectic day at work today. touch and go as to whether i'll be able to solve a problem in the time available. and it's happening because people ignored my warnings that this was going to happen. i suppose i could take some satisfaction in being proved right, but given that i'm the one who has to clean up the mess, on the whole i'd rather have been wrong.
so am i stressed out? nah, not really. pretty much kept cool and managed not to lose my temper. and all because i'm still enjoying that nice warm fuzzy feeling as a result of all the fun at the weekend.
i'm thinking of writing to brian cowan suggesting regular flogging of the workers as the solution to ireland's economic difficulties. (i'd suggest a good screw too, but sure aren't they screwing us already).
i know just how he could fund it, too. make ivor callely take the bus. see? sorted.
so am i stressed out? nah, not really. pretty much kept cool and managed not to lose my temper. and all because i'm still enjoying that nice warm fuzzy feeling as a result of all the fun at the weekend.
i'm thinking of writing to brian cowan suggesting regular flogging of the workers as the solution to ireland's economic difficulties. (i'd suggest a good screw too, but sure aren't they screwing us already).
i know just how he could fund it, too. make ivor callely take the bus. see? sorted.
well i was wrong about the bruises! i have more than i thought, they were just a bit slow to show themselves! i'm kinda happy to see them, but must remember to get some arnica on the way home, have to be ready for more use next weekend!
i'm still on a high, having little flashbacks, remembering little incidents from the weekend, like C and R deciding to cool my bum with ice in between spanking and flogging it! i was a bit scared when i heard them talking about it, expected the ice to be uncomfortable, and the pain to be more intense, but it was actually quite soothing. or the way i felt moved to kneel at C's feet and unlace his boots for him. not something he told me to do, he started to take them off himself and i just wanted to do it for him. it felt good.
my house-mate G arrived home yesterday evening, having been away for the weekend, and we got to chat a bit over a bottle of wine. can't think of a better way to begin winding down!
i'm still on a high, having little flashbacks, remembering little incidents from the weekend, like C and R deciding to cool my bum with ice in between spanking and flogging it! i was a bit scared when i heard them talking about it, expected the ice to be uncomfortable, and the pain to be more intense, but it was actually quite soothing. or the way i felt moved to kneel at C's feet and unlace his boots for him. not something he told me to do, he started to take them off himself and i just wanted to do it for him. it felt good.
my house-mate G arrived home yesterday evening, having been away for the weekend, and we got to chat a bit over a bottle of wine. can't think of a better way to begin winding down!
Monday, 6 September 2010
it's monday morning. it's raining. the sky is grey. the weekend is over. i have to take off my make-up and my pretty dress and put on drab boring clothes and go to work.
so do i have the blues? no i do not! i'm happy! i have a wiggle in my step! i'm trying hard to remember not to sigh contentedly and go 'mmm' when someone might hear!
i'm basking happily in memories of the weekend past - and, of course, looking forward eagerly to the weekend to come!
i'm feeling, as a dear friend of mine used to say, 'well used'.
i'm also once again remarkably free of bruises! i do have some, just not nearly as many as i would have expected. does one develop immunity to bruising over time, i wonder? and if so, is this a good thing or a bad thing? i rather miss my pretty bruises! but on the up side, i am ready for action again next weekend!
life is good!
so do i have the blues? no i do not! i'm happy! i have a wiggle in my step! i'm trying hard to remember not to sigh contentedly and go 'mmm' when someone might hear!
i'm basking happily in memories of the weekend past - and, of course, looking forward eagerly to the weekend to come!
i'm feeling, as a dear friend of mine used to say, 'well used'.
i'm also once again remarkably free of bruises! i do have some, just not nearly as many as i would have expected. does one develop immunity to bruising over time, i wonder? and if so, is this a good thing or a bad thing? i rather miss my pretty bruises! but on the up side, i am ready for action again next weekend!
life is good!
Sunday, 5 September 2010
in order to respect the privacy of my friends, i do not use names here. i refer to people by a single initial only. it sometimes happens that i have more than one friend with the same initial, and sometimes they attend the same event. i'm not going to start assigning numbers to my friends, especially not the dominant ones. i'm not about to decide which of two dominant play partners gets to be number 1 and which gets to be number 2. are you kidding? i may be a masochist but i do have a survival instinct!
in short, the person that i refer to as J in this post is not the same person that i referred to as J in a previous post, and there were two people at last night's party who i will refer to as R. sorry if this seems confusing, but i am still in a daze today after the most incredible series of experiences last night and in the early hours of this morning, and not really capable of thinking logically about conundrums like this at the moment!
it started - at least i think it started, my sense of time and the succession of events is a bit scrambled by high levels of endorphins - with sitting at R's feet while she sat in the throne, caressing my shoulders. i love the whole sitting at someone's feet scenario, it is, for me, both submissive and affectionate. and the throne (a wooden throne that D had made for a recent fem-dom night) evoked a slave-girl fantasy. the fact that R was wearing spiked gloves while she caressed me was a bonus. i am a pain-slut, after all.
one of my fantasies is to be a total slut for the night. in the bdsm sense that is. ok maybe i might have a fantasy about being a total slut in the other sense, but if so that one hasn't become reality. yet. what i mean in this instance is being a total spank-slut, getting spanked or flogged by several people on the one night. this became a reality for me last night.
i was flogged first by J, with R later joining in. J is a wonderful dominant lady who proudly calls herself a sadist and makes no secret of the pleasure she takes in dispensing pain to those who take pleasure in receiving it. she will often laugh with pleasure during play, which is something i love to hear, as it reminds me that i am giving pleasure to my play partner as well as accepting pleasure from them. she also has a knack of sensing just when she has pushed me to the limit, at which point she will pause, caress me, and whisper 'good girl' or 'good pet', in my ear, which has the immediate effect of calming me and enabling me to continue.
we both had occasion to laugh for another reason last night. at one point i became agitated when a flogger curled around my legs. sensing my agitation, J paused and asked me if i was ok. i replied that i was fine, i was just worried about the flogger ripping my fishnets, causing an outburst of giggles at my sense of priorities! my concern about the fishnets did prove well founded, they did not survive the night, but in the event i don't regret the sacrifice!
later in the night, while i was resting and recovering from this first flogging, C arrived. C and i had played only once before, several months ago. it had been an intense and very pleasurable experience and one that i had been hoping to repeat ever since. i was not disappointed! i soon found myself cuffed to a wall, my dress hiked up around my waist, ordered to spread my legs and stick out my bum, while C flogged and groped me, all the while growling wonderfully exciting threats and promises in my ear!
later still, R flogged me, with C joining in. this time i was bent over, leaning against a sofa, head down, bum up in the air, panties pulled down, a wonderfully exposed and vulnerable position that would have had me wiggling even without the spanking and flogging that accompanied it!
if was, if my endorphin-muddled brain remembers correctly, during this scene that C told me that he wanted to penetrate me, and asked me if i wanted that.
i was, up to that point, an anal virgin, more or less. i had experienced anal sex with a strap-on three times prior to that. but i had never until then experienced a real live flesh and blood penis up my bum. it was something that i had been thinking about quite a lot recently. it was a fantasy, and one which i had come to realise i needed to experience in reality. and i really can't think of a better person to help me make that fantasy become a reality than C.
and so, when he asked if i wanted that, i assured him that i did. and in the early hours of this morning, bent across a spanking bench, with my dress once more hiked up around my waist and C thrusting into me so hard that on occasion my feet left the ground, i lost my anal virginity. and i loved it.
in short, the person that i refer to as J in this post is not the same person that i referred to as J in a previous post, and there were two people at last night's party who i will refer to as R. sorry if this seems confusing, but i am still in a daze today after the most incredible series of experiences last night and in the early hours of this morning, and not really capable of thinking logically about conundrums like this at the moment!
it started - at least i think it started, my sense of time and the succession of events is a bit scrambled by high levels of endorphins - with sitting at R's feet while she sat in the throne, caressing my shoulders. i love the whole sitting at someone's feet scenario, it is, for me, both submissive and affectionate. and the throne (a wooden throne that D had made for a recent fem-dom night) evoked a slave-girl fantasy. the fact that R was wearing spiked gloves while she caressed me was a bonus. i am a pain-slut, after all.
one of my fantasies is to be a total slut for the night. in the bdsm sense that is. ok maybe i might have a fantasy about being a total slut in the other sense, but if so that one hasn't become reality. yet. what i mean in this instance is being a total spank-slut, getting spanked or flogged by several people on the one night. this became a reality for me last night.
i was flogged first by J, with R later joining in. J is a wonderful dominant lady who proudly calls herself a sadist and makes no secret of the pleasure she takes in dispensing pain to those who take pleasure in receiving it. she will often laugh with pleasure during play, which is something i love to hear, as it reminds me that i am giving pleasure to my play partner as well as accepting pleasure from them. she also has a knack of sensing just when she has pushed me to the limit, at which point she will pause, caress me, and whisper 'good girl' or 'good pet', in my ear, which has the immediate effect of calming me and enabling me to continue.
we both had occasion to laugh for another reason last night. at one point i became agitated when a flogger curled around my legs. sensing my agitation, J paused and asked me if i was ok. i replied that i was fine, i was just worried about the flogger ripping my fishnets, causing an outburst of giggles at my sense of priorities! my concern about the fishnets did prove well founded, they did not survive the night, but in the event i don't regret the sacrifice!
later in the night, while i was resting and recovering from this first flogging, C arrived. C and i had played only once before, several months ago. it had been an intense and very pleasurable experience and one that i had been hoping to repeat ever since. i was not disappointed! i soon found myself cuffed to a wall, my dress hiked up around my waist, ordered to spread my legs and stick out my bum, while C flogged and groped me, all the while growling wonderfully exciting threats and promises in my ear!
later still, R flogged me, with C joining in. this time i was bent over, leaning against a sofa, head down, bum up in the air, panties pulled down, a wonderfully exposed and vulnerable position that would have had me wiggling even without the spanking and flogging that accompanied it!
if was, if my endorphin-muddled brain remembers correctly, during this scene that C told me that he wanted to penetrate me, and asked me if i wanted that.
i was, up to that point, an anal virgin, more or less. i had experienced anal sex with a strap-on three times prior to that. but i had never until then experienced a real live flesh and blood penis up my bum. it was something that i had been thinking about quite a lot recently. it was a fantasy, and one which i had come to realise i needed to experience in reality. and i really can't think of a better person to help me make that fantasy become a reality than C.
and so, when he asked if i wanted that, i assured him that i did. and in the early hours of this morning, bent across a spanking bench, with my dress once more hiked up around my waist and C thrusting into me so hard that on occasion my feet left the ground, i lost my anal virginity. and i loved it.
Saturday, 4 September 2010
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