a little while ago i cleared my list of fetishes on fetlife. i didn't like being reminded of things that me and a certain someone had done together, and would never do again, or had planned to do, and now never would. but life, as they say, goes on, and a good slut doesn't stay unowned for long!

i'm now 'under consideration' by the very wonderful DominaCat and She has expressed an interest in learning what makes me tick, so i am busily going through fetlife's list of popular fetishes, adding the ones that appeal to me. i'm so far either into or curious about all but three of the top forty. i'm a little surprised and slightly disappointed to find myself so conventional in my unconventionality! and there was me thinking i was special!

anyway, the three that i'm not into are fisting, voyeurism, and role play. fisting ... um, let's just not go there, ok? voyeurism ... i'd rather play than watch others play, thank you very much! role play ... i had to stop and think about this one. there is undoubtedly an element of role play about what i do. but it's implicit, spontaneous, unscripted. i don't enjoy formal, explicit, planned role play, the kind where i'm supposed to invent a character, and a back story, and a setting, which is probably what most people understand by the term.

i am very much enjoying the process of opening up, of revealing to Domina what makes me tick, what pushes my buttons. submission is, for me, fundamentally about trust, about surrendering control, about allowing oneself to be vulnerable. and that applies at least as much, perhaps more so, to emotional and psychological vulnerability as it does to physical vulnerability.