having been unowned and without a regular play partner for a couple of months now, i find that one of the things i miss most of all is orgasm control.

orgasm control has been a significant feature of my last two bdsm relationships. well actually i've only had two bdsm relationships, so orgasm control has been a significant feature of all of my bdsm relationships.

i don't like devices - at least not the ones designed for the male anatomy, some of the ones designed for the female anatomy are quite pretty. my experience of chastity and orgasm control has been based on the honour system - they told me what to do and i did it, or what not to do and i didn't do it, as the case may be. and i loved it, and i miss it.

it's not that i don't enjoy orgasms, i love them. but for me nothing quite matches the intensity of that moment when one is right on the edge of orgasm, begging for release, and not knowing whether it will or will not be granted.

now that i have no one to do it for me, i find myself reduced to doing it for myself, with the aid of a timer. the timer is set for a short period of time, and if unable to achieve orgasm within that period, i stop when the timer goes off. next time i increase the time a little. when the inevitable happens, and i finally achieve orgasm, i'll start reducing the time again.

someone - probably more than one someone actually - has observed that no sadist is as inventive in thinking up ways to torment masochists as masochists themselves.

it's not nearly as much fun as having someone else do it for me, but it will have to do until that someone comes along.

now excuse me please, i have a date with a stop-watch ...