irony. life is full of it. the irony for me today is that having written last week about my reasons for publishing some very personal, intimate thoughts and experiences, i now feel almost honour bound to write about something very difficult.

despair. there, i said it. it didn't taste good. it's not a nice word. it's an ugly word. a cold, hard, grim word. but i'll say it anyway, because i'm not the only one that's feeling it, and because, like so many of the things we fear, it's stronger in the dark. its power over us grows stronger when we try to hide from it. we need to grab it by the throat, drag it out into the light, look it in the face, spit in its eye and tell it to fuck off.

c'est la vie. shit 'appens. don't let the bastards grind ya down. is that all ya got? fuck it. next!