i wasn't expecting much play last weekend. poor J was recovering from dental surgery! i was expecting to spend the weekend keeping her company and looking after her. i didn't think she'd be in the mood for kinkiness. i should have known better!

the hints that things might turn out differently began before i'd even left dublin, with teasing on-line and text messages. my hopes were raised! and then in the event friday night turned out to be a quiet night after all. we watched a movie and went to bed. J teased and aroused me and then went to sleep! hopes dashed! but the weekend was still young!

on saturday we went to the diwali and samhain festival at the ulster museum for some nepalese food and irish music! it was fun, but rather cold, so we didn't stay very long!

back at J's place that night, she described her plans for me!

for some time now, J has been threatening / promising to use her anal hook on me! it looks like this ...



tonight, i was informed, was to be the night of the anal hook! J was going to insert the hook in me, tie me up, and then do some needle play!

things didn't go quite according to plan! no sooner was the hook in than we realised that the experience was so intense all by itself that the addition of rope bondage and needle play would have been more than i could stand! having the hook in was like being right on the edge of orgasm - and staying there! the least movement sent me into sensory overload! of course J took advantage of this by spanking me to make me squirm! and then she brought out the hitachi!

before the night was over i was pleading to be allowed an orgasm! J kept me begging and pleading for what seemed like ages, but eventually relented and allowed me one!

on sunday we enjoyed the needle-play that we'd had to postpone on saturday. two pentagrams on my back, corset-style lacing on my bum, and more corset-style lacing binding my thighs together. later there was more teasing, and more begging. but this time J did not relent! she brought me right to the edge of orgasm - and stopped!

this was the last night of our weekend. in the morning i had to leave belfast and drive back to dublin, and i won't see J again for two weeks.

i lay awake that night, listening to J's breathing, struggling with sexual frustration and emotional conflict. on one level i was angry with J. how could she do this to me? on another level i was grateful. this was, after all, what i wanted. the psychological aspect of submission is important to me. i want to be controlled, and J had just very decisively established her control! and of course i will never again take an orgasm for granted with J! every time we play i will be wondering ... will she? won't she? and the sexual excitement is all the more intense for that!

it was an emotionally intense experience - perhaps almost as intense on the emotional level as the anal hook the day before was intense on the physical level. when morning came i was feeling clingy and vulnerable. i wanted cuddles and reassurance. but it wasn't to be. i needed to get back to dublin for work and poor J was still suffering the effects of dental surgery, and not really in any condition for deep and meaningful conversation at five o'clock in the morning!

monday was a strange day. i felt disoriented, out of step with the mundane world to which i had returned. something had been interrupted, left unfinished, and was going to keep nagging at me until i completed it. and no, i don't mean the orgasm! i needed to talk to J, to tell her how i was feeling, to reaffirm the bond.

fortunately, we were able to chat on-line that night. i described to J how i was feeling, much as i've described it here. that was all i needed, really, as soon as i'd told her, i felt better. though we did agree that next time it might be better to pick a day when we're not going to have to part so early the next morning!