i was going to begin this post by wondering if we kinksters experience a more intense emotional life than our less kinky fellow human beings. then i got to thinking that it might be arrogant to assume that we, or more specifically i, experience anything more intensely than anyone else. can we ever really know what someone else is feeling?

and then i realised that it doesn't really matter. all that really matters is how intense the experience is to us and to the person or persons with whom we are sharing that experience. how it compares or contrasts with someone else's experience of something different is not important.

so i will leave comparisons aside. let's just say that some of the things we do arouse intense physical and emotional responses. when we surrender ourselves to another, put our trust in another, give up control to another, a powerful bond is formed.

and it hurts like hell when that bond is broken.

we are left facing the age-old question, is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

it's an unanswerable question, of course. those who have loved will never know what it might have been to have never loved, and those who never love will never know what it might have been to love.

or as Aslan says in 'Prince Caspian': "We can never know what would have happened, Lucy. But what will happen is another matter entirely."