the drop is hard, this time. there's the physical reaction. the withdrawal from the endorphin high. but more than that, i spent the weekend surrounded by people with whom i could be myself. people before whom i could dance in nothing but a fishnet kaftan. now it's back to putting on an act, pretending to be someone who is not me.
i spoke briefly with G when she got home from work last night, and she used the phrase 'back to reality'. but in a sense what happened at the weekend was reality, it's the workday me that is a fantasy. someone else's fantasy.
it's not all negative. if i dig deep enough, i can still find that inner peace.
this will pass.
Hey keira, came across your blog today in my meanderings through the web, not entirely by accident tho; I have a feeling you'll recognise my name, so Hi Again :) - Wanted to let you know that I've read thru the last couple of weeks of your blog (alas I have n0 time for more just now, but I'll be back :) - I find that your words captivating, your posts are vivid and evocative, and an inspiration to me as a Dom newly entering the scene publicly - I am sorry that I find you today when you are feeling down, but I am also happy that you had such a high to come down from :) - I hope the memory of it will be enough to sustain you until 'the next time', I hope that its not too long before that time comes and finally I hope this post will make you smile and bring you a little bit of that peace you mentioned... :) take care...RN
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