i was chatting with J and others in the alternative northern ireland chat room last night. i was about to go 'away from keyboard' to make coffee, and mentioned how much i enjoy my coffee. it's one of my few remaining vices. i quit smoking years ago, i have a fairly healthy diet, i do drink alcohol, but not very much.

J informed me that i was forbidden coffee from now on.

she was joking. J isn't really mean - although she can do a pretty good impression of being mean when she wants to! and i knew she was joking - well, i was fairly sure she was joking. and yet, just for a minute or two, i had an intense submissive experience.

i've always known that i enjoyed the psychological aspect of submission. but i surprised myself with the strength of my reactions, both emotional and physical. yes, physical. i was physically aroused. at the mere suggestion of having my coffee drinking habit under J's control!

it's a fantasy, of course, not realistic. most of us, hopefully, have lives, and have better things to be doing with our time and attention than to be controlling the mundane actions of others! it's fun to fantasize about, though, and taught me something about myself.

i'm a control slut. a control slut with independent and defiant tendencies, but a control slut none the less.

the alternative northern ireland forum can be found at: http://www.alternativeni.co.uk/