my need for after-care, not very surprisingly, varies with the intensity and duration of play. but even after a relatively mild, short session, it's still very important to me to get at least a hug.

as a sub, i've just let someone hurt and / or humiliate me. afterwards i need reassurance. it's a cliché, i know, but i need to know they still respect me. that they don't despise me for letting them do nasty things to me.

i don't really know how it feels from the Dom/me side. i've been known to spank a cute bum occasionally, but that's not dominating, that's just topping, and it's not at all the same thing.

a case in point. last weekend, i took P by the hair, led her to the a-frame, tied her to the frame and flogged her. when she tried to top from the bottom, telling me to flog her harder, i took her by the hair again, pulled her head back, and growled in her ear "just who do you think is in charge here, slut?"

five minutes after i let her down off the a-frame, i was kneeling at her feet sucking her fingers, all thoughts of being in control gone from my head, and i was happy to see them go.

so i don't really know what a Dom/me feels like after a session. but i'm guessing that most Dom/mes like to get a hug too, that they too need reassurance. need to know that yes, i did want you to do that to me, yes, i did enjoy it, no, you're really not a bad person because you get off on doing nasty things to me.